Stop Insulting Pirates!

I am not one for "political correctness" in speech but if I were a pirate, I would take offense at this report on The Borrowitz Report (note: I shortened it up a bit for posting)

NORFOLK, VIRGINIA (The Borowitz Report) - Eleven indicted Somali pirates dropped a bombshell in a U.S. court today, revealing that their entire piracy operation is a subsidiary of banking giant Goldman Sachs ... The pirate ... elaborated on the nature of the Somalis' work for Goldman, explaining that the pirates forcibly attacked ships that Goldman had already shorted." ... The pirate acknowledged that they merged their operations with Goldman in late 2008 to take advantage of the more relaxed regulations governing bankers as opposed to pirates, "plus to get our share of the bailout money." In the aftermath of the shocking revelations, government prosecutors were scrambling to see if they still had a case against the Somali pirates, who would now be treated as bankers in the eyes of the law." There are lots of laws that could bring these guys down if they were, in fact, pirates," one government source said. "But if they're bankers, our hands are tied."

I wonder if Borowitz is his real name... "borrow wits"?

I might add that if the Pirates do take bailout money that they infact will become government controlled at which time they must be considered Privateers not pirates. My guess is that their salaries will be capped as well. I hope they know what they are getting into.